Is Getting Back Together with Your Ex Really a Good Idea?

After a break up your thoughts often turn to one thing: getting back together with your ex. While it is difficult to get rid of those thoughts, you need to carefully consider whether or not this is the best thing to do. What you need to do is take an honest look at your past relationship and its possible future.

Put it under the proverbial microscope and find all of the things that made it go wrong. You want to dig up the dirt and get as real of a picture of all the bad stuff first. Did you ever argue? What about? What would cause it? How would they end? What were the underlying issues? That’s five questions about arguing, but you probably broke up with your ex for more reasons than just the occasional argument. In other words, you need to ask a lot of questions about a lot of things.

Once you have a down and dirty picture of your relationship, ask yourself how you really feel about getting back together with your ex. If you are still interested, in spite of all the bad stuff that has happened, then it’s time to move on to the next step of the process.

Now it’s time to look at all the good things about the relationship. You will use the same basic process, but with a positive spin this time. A few questions you could ask include: What made you fall in love? What did you like most about your ex? What were there other good qualities? What did you appreciate most about being together? These questions will help to remind you of why getting back together could be the right choice.

You have now considered the bad and the good. The next step is to balance the two and see if the good outweighs the bad. Before you answer, though, there is one more thing to remember. You don’t have to worry about fixing any of the good stuff, but a lot of the bad stuff can be fixed with a bit of effort. In other words, the bad probably isn’t as bad as you first thought. However, there is no doubt that it is going to take some effort on both your parts to make things better than they were before.

As long as you are willing to work on improving the things that went wrong, and as long as you are willing to work on making yourself a better person (as far as your relationship goes), then getting back together with your ex could very well be the right thing for you to do. You need to be realistic about your approach. And don’t forget that your ex has a lot of say in the matter too. But if you can show them that you are taking it seriously, it will give you much higher odds of success.

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